So when do they grow up, huh? Some people have told me around 30, but he's 30 now and I see little change! So how do you know when you have one extra large kid in your family? It's not hard to tell.
As a mom, I've worked so hard to teach my kids to be polite and well mannered. So hard. But when my 19 month old throws up at the dinner table, pushing her gut so hard to burp like daddy, mortification reaches an all time high! My littlest man says "let's have a burping party" and I scream "NOOO!" Then I turn to my husband with an icy glare, "this is YOUR fault."
So okay, burping is a natural function, right? Excess air and gas in the body need to come out, right? So I guess the same goes for good 'ol flatulence. And guess what - at around the age the babes start responding to verbal commands, they also start farting on command as well. It's funny to get your baby to toot in the tub, right? And that's why my 19 month old (and all the rest of them) find it gut-busting hilarious when they pass gas now. They'll even wave it at you if they're feeling extra sassy. I spit an icy glare at my husband "this is YOUR fault."
Let's face it, our bodies can be pretty gross. Strange things come out, especially when we are sick. Runny noses turn into crusty noses; and surely one must pick it all out, right? So when I am at the school with my youngest 2 at a play group, and my 19 month old jams her finger in her nose, and straight into her mouth, I look around at the other mothers quite sheepishly and say "THAT is her FATHER'S fault." As the saying goes (according to him) "you pick it, you eat it!"
Oh, if only you could be a fly on the wall for one weekend at my house, the things you would see. I duck away for 15 minutes to shower to return to a blaring loud stereo and kids dancing around off their rockers while daddy tests out some new music. Or perhaps when the kids slip their pants down their bums and run around the house. How about the other day, while at Stanley park, daddy decides to hop on the stroller and take a ride down a hill. Embarrassing? Indeed. And the next thing the rest of the kids want a death-defying ride down the hill in a stroller with no brakes. "Absolutely NOT" I yell.
Daddy is the one I have to argue with about NOT getting a new TV, or video game system, or computer, or pet. Big kid? Biggest of the bunch I'd say!
**Sigh** So what does this all make me? The no-fun mom. The bad guy. The downer, the kill-joy. But what can you do? It's a mom's life, I guess!
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