strange awakening

I remember this weird moment when I was around 9 years old.  It was like I suddenly woke up, becoming aware of myself and my world.  I can't remember the exact thought but it was probably "why am I here?"  I do remember subsequent thoughts like, "why am I 9?"  "Why am I a kid?" and "What am I doing here?".  It was this strange awakening; just for a moment, and then I was able to go on with the fantastically whimsical and imaginative life of a 9 year old girl without a care. 

I was brought back to that moment today, as I slumped over the kitchen counter mid-day.  I had my pounding head in my hands and my exact thought was "Oh God make this day end."  Followed with thoughts such as "how am I going to make it to bed time," "I better clean the yogurt footprints off the floor," and "the next child who whines moooooom better fear for his or her little hide 'cause momma's hit the mid day wall that coffee can't even cure."  It was this strange awakening; just for a moment, and then I was able to go on with the horrifically real and exhausting life of a 34 year old mother of 3 with more cares than she'd ever thought she's care to have!

Yeah...well I'm back...

Mmmkay we won't discuss the silly hiatus that I termed as "writer's block".  I think when it comes to blogging, the only thing that holds one back is laziness.  When it comes to novels, yes, writer's block does apply.

It's been a ridiculous year.  That is all I will say about that.

I was standing here in my kitchen (still am) and realized that I need to just get back on here and start complaining again.  So here's what I'm doing:  cooking soup.  I am also packing my husband's lunch for work (eye roll).  Of course I had better pack it right or he will threaten to pack it himself.  Oh GOLLY!  You might pack it yourself?  Oh, the horror!!  A husband packing his own lunch is the sort of thing nightmares are made of.

So the kids.  Yes... middle son is in Kindergarten **dancing around kitchen**. Yes.  The crazy child who I once thought needed anti psychotic drugs has entered the system, and he is flourishing.  Teacher's exact quote:  "He is so smart, and so kind, and I haven't heard one thing I don't like yet.  I think he will be a geo engineer one day."  EA's exact words "He's much calmer than most of the boys, and he listens right away when you tell him something.  I find him quite funny."  Ummm Are you SURE you have the right kid?  The one who wears his underwear backwards because "the hole" bothers him?  The one who has a temper tantrum before school because he wants to wear his sandals, no his shoes, no his sandals with socks, no his shoes with no socks, no his sandals with no socks and pack his socks and shoes in his bag with him in case he changes his mind.  THAT kid?  

Then there's brilliant eldest daughter.  Entered grade 4.  Good at everything.  Friends with everyone.  Strange, original, quirky, weird, artistic, one of a kind.  Youngest daughter - near replica of eldest daughter with some added spice, plenty of sass, and full of cheeky remarks (which you are more likely to get away with when you are 3).

Me - a few more tattoos, a new hobby (painting), chopped hair, and continuously evolving as each year passes.  I am enjoying the internal journey that is the 3rd decade of life.